I know this sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.
I’ve been in this job for a long time.
I know the first two decades of my career.
But I’ve also seen so much change and change in so many areas of life.
My body has been an enigma for a lot of people.
It has not only been a source of inspiration and joy, but also an enabler for so many of my health issues.
I’m not going to sugar coat it.
I’m not the only one who feels this way.
There’s so much more I want to say.
So I thought I’d share what has made me a different person over the years, from an early self-proclaimed nerd to an overweight fat woman.1.
I had a hard time being self-critical.
I was always aware of my flaws, but I had no idea how to handle them.
I wanted to feel that I was better than I was, but couldn’t really connect with my feelings because I was so overwhelmed by my self-image.
I was self-conscious about what I ate.
I would always look at my food and ask, “Are you sure?
What’s the most you could have?”
But I also had no real control over my food intake.
I didn’t have to worry about eating unhealthy food to feel good about myself.
When I was fat, I would never worry about getting enough calories to maintain my weight.
I’d just focus on my food, which was just a number.
I always felt bad if I wasn’t getting enough.
I even tried to lose weight by eating less and eating more vegetables and whole grains, which would have made me feel terrible.
But it never felt good.2.
I hated people who made me uncomfortable.
I knew that I could relate to people who were unhappy and hurt because of things like race, gender, religion, or disability.
I also knew that people who could be so angry and hurtful would be able to hurt me in ways that I couldn’t imagine.
I felt uncomfortable with myself, and I felt the need to keep a distance.
It made me nervous and self-pitying.3.
I never felt like I could say no.
I just wanted to be accepted.
Being fat was just something I had to live with and live with the consequences.
I used to say to myself, “If I lose weight, I will be OK.
If I don’t lose weight I will become a normal person.”
I wanted my body to be comfortable with me, and to be able be comfortable about who I was.4.
I couldn, and still can, do things I used do before.
For example, I loved being a runner, and it was hard to stop.
But when I got fat, it was even harder.
I struggled to run a marathon, and would run into the end of a race in the middle of a long run, and say, “I can’t do this.”
I couldn the first time, but the second time, I could do it.
And I did.
I think that when I was a fat girl, I didn`t want to do anything I could not do before, and now I don`t know what I can do to change my ways.5.
I got a lot out of my job.
I have an incredible passion for my job, and so many people know how hard I work.
I can be in the office for two hours, and then I can sit down and talk to clients for 45 minutes.
When you feel like you`re doing everything perfectly, then you`ll just get overwhelmed.
I love the freedom of working in my field, but when I get to work, I feel like I have to be a lot more careful about what is going on in my mind and my body.6.
I learned to see myself as a positive person, not just as a fat person.
I don”t believe that if you`ve got a problem, you can be a fat problem solver.
You can be an obese problem solvers.
And when I look at myself, I don´t see myself like that.
I see myself the way I am, the way a human being would see themselves.
I am a very human person.7.
I found that I wasn`t just fat anymore.
I wasn�t just a fat, fat person anymore.
Fat is not the same thing as fat.
When people tell me that I am fat, they’re referring to my physical state, not my personality or my health.
When we say, I am an overweight person, I`m not referring to the fact that I have a lot to live up to, but rather, I have more to give.
I could always get better.8.
I gained a lot from self-accept